No one ever openly said I didn’t belong, but I saw it in faces, in tones, in actions.

I felt barely tolerated by those closest to me, so I blamed myself.

I concluded I must not be a very nice person, that I couldn’t be trusted, and so I kept myself at a distance.

I wore a mask, scanning every room for non-verbal cues, terrified of getting it wrong.

If I’m honest, I didn’t know who I really was.

On my 18th birthday, my life became even more unstable.

I was told to leave the family house, finding myself homeless during my second year of A-Levels.

I was referred to a grim homeless shelter where violence and chaos were common.

However, my grades actually improved during that time because I knew education was my way out.

After three months, I was given an ultimatum: quit my studies in order to receive government benefits to pay for my accommodation or leave the shelter.

I chose to leave.

That was when I first realised how determined I was to succeed — NO MATTER WHAT.

With that determination I eventually made it to university three years later than my peers and graduated with a 2:1 BSc (Hons) in Psychology.

I chose Psychology because I wanted to understand how childhood shapes who we become as adults.

I thought I was broken and needed to know if the damage done to me could ever be undone.

After graduating, life remained unstable.

I moved between friends’ sofas, homeless shelters, eventually landing in a physically, psychologically, and financially abusive relationship that I had no defences to escape from.

I eventually found the strength to leave, but only with the help of a restraining order.

I had recreated the same confusion I grew up with, but leaving that toxic relationship revealed something I had never acknowledged — even without ever being taught to have self-respect or boundaries, I must have loved myself to believe I deserved better.

I had first encountered Buddhism some years previously, but it was around this time that I began to practise daily.

From there, I poured myself into building a small childcare business.

My work was an extension of my Psychology degree — I studied the families I worked with, observing what love and security looked like.

Turning 30 brought a desire to realise my dream of travelling.

But survival mode still had its grip on me.

I saved aggressively, yet a part of me felt uneasy about the idea of having ‘too much’ money.

Subconsciously, I began to sabotage myself.

I left my stable low-rent home in favour of a series of high-cost temporary abodes, took a lower-paying job, and paid a large, unexpected income tax bill.

Within months, my savings were nearly gone.

Determined not to abandon my dream, I bought my return flights with the money I had left.

I boarded my flight to Brazil with barely enough to get by for a few days, carrying the same survival mindset that had defined my life.

Instead of adventure, I found myself trapped in scarcity, recreating my childhood struggle on foreign soil.

I had completed my lifelong dream, yet because I thought so little of myself, I created the perfect conditions to ensure I could not enjoy it fully.

That’s when I was able to name my experience: emotional neglect.

It explained everything.

I wasn’t broken.

I had just never been taught that my needs mattered.

Therapy gave me my first awareness of boundaries.

Working with a Mindset Coach helped me see how much I had been shrinking myself, convinced I was unworthy.

And chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo gave me a discipline to cleanse the negative self-talk and anchor myself in hope.

Buddhism states that “those who have suffered the most deserve to be the happiest.”

That teaching gave me hope.

What I once interpreted as being unlovable was simply the reality that the people around me didn’t have the capacity to love me properly.

I am now able to forgive them wholeheartedly because every step led me here — to an unshakable belief in myself.

Now, I help entrepreneurs like you grow from self sabotage, get out of their own way and create the life they deserve.

Healing is possible.

I am living proof.

I know how draining it is trying to work out why you’re not living the life you know you’re capable of.

That’s why I offer a complimentary discovery call where together we’ll;

uncover the limiting beliefs keeping you small,

recognise the patterns you’ve been repeating since childhood.

With a new perspective, taking the right action becomes instinctive, opening the door to the success you always sensed was meant for you.